Ancient TV pundit, John McCririck, has today lost his fight against former employer IMG Media for ageist discrimination.
The 756 year-old was dropped from Channel 4 in 2012, and swiftly replaced by Clare Balding which he claims makes him the victim of unfair dismissal.
Asked to comment outside the tribunal, McCririck looked puzzled.
'Ageism? What the bloody hell's that? No, no, no. Bruce Forsyth's still on telly, and he's at least 900 years old. No, I was just pissed off that I was replaced by a woman! How did she make it out of the kitchen? Who's going to make the cameramen sandwiches? Arf arf.'
Visibly horrified, McCririck's lawyer made a statement.
'Mr McCririck is only joking, what he means to say is, that he's sorely disappointed that his case can't be used to help others who may find themselves in a similar situation in the future.'
The 4 person strong crowd outside the tribunal appeared to be pacified by this explanation, until McCririck yelled 'THE BOOBY!' and shuffled through them all- arms akimbo- in order to publicly motorboat his wife.
A spokesperson from IMG Media says 'John was not dismissed due to his age, he was dismissed because he is an arsehole. This is not a crime, and therefore today's decision was the correct one.'
In light of the ruling that arseholeism is not covered by equality law, David Cameron has recalled parliament in a state of emergency to discuss the potential meltdown of UK democracy.