Ed Miliband has stated that in the next general election, all of the Labour party’s policies will be generated by playing the game 'Chinese whispers'. The idea comes from a sense that the public are 'bored' of Labour's fluffy and flimsy political agenda, and want something ‘edgier’ and unexpected. The message they hope to send is that they are a political party emphasizing 'communication'.
“The system is very simple” Miliband elaborates. “We come up with a standard labour policy – you know, ‘more sweaters for unhappy kittens’ or ‘improve the self-esteem of underachievers’. Then, we bring in a crack-team of impartial civilians and sit them in a line.”
They then go on to whisper their suggested policy of making sure the young feel valued to the first person in the line. As each member of the line whispers the policy to the next, Miliband hopes the resulting mishearings and malapropisms will produce a radically new and invigorated policy.
“It’s already proving wonderfully effective.” Miliband claims. “Just last week, we tried the system out with our policy of Guaranteeing a place in education or training for all 16 and 17 year olds, and it came out ‘educate 16 old people?’ It’s so ‘random’, as the kinds say! Do I know what it means? Of course not! but it’s new, provocative, edgy!
“It turns out this chaos is all we’ve been missing. We’ve managed to turn many of our vaguely liberal notions into actual plans of political action through this method – it’s been quite riveting. ”