Scientists have discovered that Marmite’s ‘polarising’ quality is, quite literally, fatal to Liberal Democrats.
“It was a chance discovery, really”, said Dr John Cunningham, the researcher who discovered the phenomenon. “We routinely test toxic substances and carcinogens on politicians. It gets around a whole range of ethical dilemmas.
“I couldn’t believe it when the LibDem’s head actually exploded. I’ve seen some really funny shit in this lab, but nothing like that before. There was, like, grey matter all over the walls, and bits of hair and scalp everywhere. Awesome”
Downing Street declined to comment on rumours that David Cameron has placed a ‘significant’ order for the condiment.