Aldi, the leading supermarket discounter today announced plans for a special zone for former Waitrose customers. Robert Martin, Head of Special Projects explained the thinking behind the new initiative, "We've noticed an increase in middle class customers using Aldi but pretending they are still in Waitrose if they are answering their mobiles. In this age of austerity, we want to help our customers retain the feel of their pre recession shopping experience."
The special zone will be guarded by G4S security men who will only allow customers wearing Cath Kidston clothing or carrying a Cambridge Satchel handbag. The Waitrose area will contain organic papayas, live free range chickens, a rustic creamery and at least one wine expert.
One customer, Sophie Rees-Wickhamstede, was sceptical about the changes. "Aldi, did you say? What is that?" When informed she was in Aldi, Ms. Rees- Wickhamstede, barged into the special zone and startled the chickens.
However, Mr Martin is so confident the Waitrose-in-Aldi feature will be a success that he has already started work on a Poundland-in-Aldi trial. But he draws the line at a possible partnership with Sports Direct. "We've saturated the market in enough obese people in worn out sports branded shell suits already," he concluded.