A new programme aims to remove all the boring music from your online collection, then tell your Facebook and Twitter friends what you’ll never listen to again, and suggest they delete it too.
Tim Smith, Stupify’s founder and CEO explained: “Nowadays many music fans have many many thousands of tracks in the cloud and on their devices – it’s all getting unmanageable. All too often they find a lot of what they have got is simply boring. That’s where Stupify comes in. Using a special algorithm, the service will search for the least enjoyable tracks in your collection and delete them permanently, before posting a “share” message on your social networking page inviting people to delete exactly those tracks."
A new premium service will shorten prog rock guitar and drum solos by 80% and eradicate Status Quo, and a fair amount of lesser known Pink Floyd altogether. A controversial section of the Bob Dylan oeuvre is also under threat, despite protests from academics.
Smith told Music Week Magazine: “All too often when people share a song or playlist online, most people’s honest reaction is: who gives a fuck? I mean if Belinda who you used to work with in accounts five years ago suddenly says she likes free jazz or Britney, or some weird ambient shit from LA her brother likes, it’s probably a cry for help, because of what happened with Mr Morton after his leaving do. But if people announce to the world they’re slashing their Joni Mitchell or Frank Zappa by 80%, and list the actual tracks they’re deleting, that’s eye catching. That’s a new conversation."
Smith emphasised the interactive element of the app: "If you can press a button on your own Stupify page, deleting exactly the same music as the tracks chosen for destruction by your friends, well, think of the disc space everyone will save, and the improvement to their listening pleasure. It’ll make musicians think twice about creating new songs. It could dissuade people entering the music business altogether, driving up standards. It will stop suicides by alcohol abusing 40 something pub-rockers on benefits who thought they could “do an Arctic Monkeys” but did a bit of painting and decorating when needs must.”
Smith continued: “We already have a list of artists whose dull output we intend to wipe from the pop history books, but we at Stupify want people to share their most boring tracks too. The idea is to shrink the popular music industry to reasonable dimensions. For example, any music artist who appears on Children in Need next week will be “unfavourited” by the service. We’ll also use the Ken Bruce show as a filter, though Dame Shirley Bassey has paid an undisclosed sum for exemption, and we’ll encourage other artists of her stature to do the same, except Coldplay. Obviosuly we will ringfence any new Bond song, subject to negotiation.”
Brian May was unavailable for comment.