Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has admitted to being 'slightly disappointed' today after being offered the role of '112th Startrooper from the left' at the first of a series of Star Wars open auditions, held at a Bristol arts centre.
The unique auditions, which offer fans and budding actors an 'unprecedented opportunity' to star as a leading character in the blockbuster movie, has seen hundreds of hopefuls, including Clegg, queueing throughout the night in blustery conditions, just for a three-minute window of opportunity to impress waiting Hollywood producers.
Casting producers at Disney had announced 'two leading roles' on offer to the public, including the character of 'Thomas', an 'athletic twenty-something', described as having grown up 'without a father's influence' but is 'smart, capable and shows courage when it is needed'. Clegg, a 46-year-old 'not-so-athletic' son of an influential businessman, said he 'rushed' to Bristol when he read the specifics for the part of Thomas.
'I had to get there; it's a once in a lifetime thing', said a noticeably frustrated Clegg today. 'I assumed I'd be a shoe-in for the leading role, given that Thomas is so unconventional, ruggedly handsome and a natural born leader. Perhaps I wore the wrong tie? Yes, that'll be it. I've begrudgingly accepted the part of 112th Startrooper from the left, but I can't help but think this J.J Abrams chap has missed a trick here. Even Ian Duncan-Smith got a callback from the producers - he's landed the role of Emperor Palpatine, the jammy sod'.
'Nick had a great time at the auditions and he did really well', said Hank Brent, who lead the casting team tasked with filtering through the hundreds of hopefuls. 'Unfortunately we won't be offering Nick the role of Thomas on this occasion, but the role of a Stormtrooper is just as important and requires lots of skill. Our Stormtrooper actors must be skilled in blindly obeying orders from cold-hearted and ruthless leaders whilst expressing no emotion whatsoever, which is surprisingly difficult. We knew Nick was a natural as soon as he walked through the door'.