Following a trip to Tesco with his wife, Rupert Forrest 37, of Basingstoke was yesterday desperately trying to explain to his spouse why Tesco Face-scanning had resulted in multiple adverts aimed at him to buy condoms, lubricant, and baby oil.
Marie Forrest said "To be honest, I've had my suspicions for some time.. whenever he goes out for a few hours he always comes back smelling of cherries. We certainly don't use condoms and when we do have sex, the bastard has never mentioned lubricants!! He has some serious explaining to do that's for sure! On the plus side, he does have lovely soft skin!"