With the prospect of Sam Bailey winning the show intended to tie unheard of nobodies into contracts which pay them nothing, X-Factor management and judges have insisted that Sam Bailey should be forced to close the USB2 tooth gap into which it is believed her iPod is inserted prior to her belting-out winning songs on every show.
'She is clearly plugging-in her iPod or possibly iPhone and pretending to sing fantastic songs every week. She is putting our industry into disrepute in the same way that Susan Boyle was found to harness the power of a Van Der Graff generator prior to each of her performances.'
Conspiracy theorists have pointed to the chilling similarities between Sam Bailey and Paul Potts, who both had big tooth gaps, and they even think that Peter Sutcliffe may have won the 'Annual cell singer of the year' whilst incarcerated in prison.'
'Gap-toothed USB2 cheats should be stopped as they are ruining our industry and I will make sure it happens' said internationally famous singer Seal.