With the streets of San Francisco awash with rumours regarding the mysterious structures mounted on barges belonging to Google, a mis-sent tweet may have uncovered more sinister motives than the hoped water-cooled data centres or Google Glass showrooms.
“Operation Coanda complete, let Phase Three begin.” said the hastily retracted tweet from the now-deactivated account @GoogleMasters, sparking retweets and a hive of activity across the social networking site that quickly saw the hashtag #Googlenaught move to the top of the trends.
Across the internet, discussions rage on the reason for these large vessels, with tech fan foot soldiers in the city doing all they can to feed the desire for information. Self confessed “Google Geek” Andrew Christian of Portland has been dockside since the barges were given permission to enter the harbour. “I came down to get a look at these things and try to work out what Google are up to. I brought my small drone with me to try and get a look above, but when I flew it within 50 feet, a panel opened and an energy pulse fired out that sent it into a death dive. I’ve got my spare with me, but I’m not sending it up, that’s for sure!”
Others in the bay area are also intrigued at changes in the routines of Google workers, with the local branch of Domino’s first to notice the differences. “Usually on a Monday we’ll get a spike of orders around 1pm and then again at 7, but yesterday there was nothing – not a single delivery out there.” Said one driver, sitting outside a branch near the eponymous tech giant’s R&D centre. “I drove by this morning to see if there’d been a fire or something like that, but the gates were barred and I couldn’t get near. One of the guys on nightshift told me that the place was a hive of activity around 2am, with cars and vans queuing to get in, so something’s about to go down, mark my words.”
Ignoring the accidental tweet, Google themselves have remained tight-lipped on the issue, merely stating the barges are ready for “operation” in both San Francisco and Maine, with another thought to be heading for New York. However, a former member of staff revealed his concerns in a meeting close to the Treasure Island Marina where the first barge docked.
“Oh god man, I can’t believe they did it!” The visibly shaken ex-employee was heard to be saying as we approached him on the pier. Later, at a nearby cafe, he told us more about ‘it’ and the sinister repercussions. “I told them they were crazy, that people would notice, you can’t buy that much titanium and yellow cake uranium without someone getting suspicious! Oppenheimer thought he’d become a destroyer of worlds when they detonated Trinity, but if these things deploy...it...it just doesn’t bare thinking about.” When asked to elaborate on what he thought was inside the barges, the unnamed individual simply began rocking on his chair and repeating, “We just wanted to outdo Apple for once.” Over and over again.
As we left the cafe and headed back to the Marina, we found it, like the Google HQ, was in lockdown. Dozens of people, all wearing Google Glasses were blocking all access to the pier. As we stood back, they joined hands and began to sing “Sergey’s gonna get you Tim.”
Google to begin “Phase Three” of operation
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With the streets of San Francisco awash with rumours regarding the mysterious structures mounted on barges belonging to Google, a mis-sent tweet may have uncovered more sinister motives than the hoped water-cooled data centres or Google Glass showrooms.Posted 2 years ago #
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