In a bid to cheer up staff at the beleaguered HS2 headquarters today, the management arranged a visit from railway building legend Isambard Kingdom Brunel, or 'IKB' as he is widely known. IKB is famous in engineering circles for the construction of the Clifton Suspension Bridge, the Great Western Railway, several famous ships including the 'SS Great Britain', and many of Britain's major docks, including Bristol, Cardiff and Milford Haven.
There was however an unfortunate commotion at the entrance when security staff wrestled with Mr Brunel as they forcibly replaced his black top hat with a bright yellow safety helmet whilst simultaneously trying to extinguish his trademark cigar, but once into the building, a slightly ruffled IKB was overwhelmed by the opulent luxury of the offices.
The tour took IKB through the enormous project governance, risk management, compliance, human resources and health and safety departments by which time he was visibly stunned, almost losing the power of speech. "So can you show me where the real work takes place?" he eventually asked the HS2 bosses who were accompanying him. "Of course Sir" they replied, leading him triumphantly to the PR department.