In a fiercely contested battle of the best knob art, Jon Veitch, a 43 year-old QA inspector from Kent, has won the prestigious title of cock drawing of the year.
Jon's piece was among thousands of entries from all ages and all corners of the country. But it was his simple, penciled rendition of the male genitalia, sketched on 80g plain white A4 paper, that won him plaudits from his counterparts as well as each of the 4 judging panel.
One judge hailed the iconic nature of the piece remarking on its 'simple yet symbolic style' saying the fluid lines and sparsely haired balls showed a certain juvenility reminiscent to that of an overgrown schoolboy. Other judges were particularly impressed however, with the way the piece depicted the non-linear trajectory of the ejaculate, and calling it a triumph for modern art.
Collecting his award, Jon thanked the judges for their appreciation of his work and proceeded to make a short speech:
"Drawing a cock and balls is all about expressing your strength and confidence" he said, "It's about making your mark and stamping your authority as a man. And sticking two fingers up to feminism and authority. There's no room in this game for namby-pambies. You've got to be bold! You've got to be strong! You've got to have……..
Jon's speech was then suddenly cut short as he had to leave after receiving a call from his wife asking where he was and ordering him to return home immediately.