A "loose" Nectar point worth 0.000023p caused the death of a Red Admiral Butterfly near Uxbridge, a coroner has ruled. How the butterfly ingested the tiny Nectar point is not known, and staff at a nearby Sainsbury's would neither confirm nor deny that they could not account for one of the trillions of Nectar points they use every day.
Emergency lepidopterist-homeopath Len Smythe was on call that day and was helicoptered to the scene from not nearby Ipswich. He told the coroner: "The butterfly had somehow taken on board the Nectar point, which is so small it is invisible to the naked person's eye. We can only assume the butterfly confused it for the real thing, thanks to clever marketing. Butterflies have excellent colour vision but a poor eye for a bargain. Despite being infinitesimal, a Nectar point is heavy enough to prevent the largest butterfly taking off, and although it was totally exhausted, the final cause of death was burning because of solar rays concentrated on it by my enormous magnifying glass."
The Coroner, passing a verdict of death by misadventure, ordered Sainsbury's to pay costs of 10,000 Nectar points or 12p to the Butterfly Benevolent Fund.