In a move to improve their PR image and public trust rating, the big 6 UK energy companies today announced plans to blitz print, tv, radio and internet media with controversial energy and money-saving advice to wealthy home-owning OAPs as what is predicted to be the severest winter in living memory approaches.
Simply put, they are recommending wealthy OAPs club together to hire out village halls for 20 years, fill them with chest freezers and jump in.
“The reasoning behind this is sound” said spokesperson Heinrich Heydrich “whilst frozen, ze old people vill avoid care home costs and heating bills and when the secret of eternal youth is discovered in a few years’ time and they are defrosted, house prices could have rocketed, so they are quids in all ways.”
“All we ask in return is they make their wills out to us in the extremely unlikely event of their deaths and we extract their gold teeth first, for safety reasons.”
Media outlets reported the move in a positive light as they will be receiving so much advertising revenue from the big 6.