Thousands of Facebook users have found themselves running 'seriously low' on fresh inspirational quotes to share with their friends of late, the social network giant has announced today.
Quotations from the likes of Socrates, Edgar Allan Poe and Winston Churchill have, according to experts, had their profundity 'watered down' by 'excessive sharing', forcing Facebook users to turn to the musings of more contemporary wordsmiths, like Harry Styles or Dappy from N-Dubz.
'I just wish Plato would have said more stuff', said one frustrated Facebook user today, who hasn't blindly shared an ancient and meaningful observation for nearly two days. 'I suppose he wasn't to know that millions of people would one day be sharing his words on computers - he was just a cartoon dog after all'.
Seeking a solution to the issue, Facebook's head researcher for the UK, Chris Stone, said: 'Unshared quotes are becoming dangerously scarce. Our research indicates that there is now only one Shakespeare quote remaining that is yet to lose its original meaning on Facebook, but that's just: "A fusty nut with no kernel!". As you can see, it's far too obscure for 2013 Britain, but we suspect that somebody will eventually slap it on a pixelated flowery placard and share the shit out of it'.
He continued: 'When a timeless quote from the likes of Lord Byron or Wordsworth is shared by Gemma from Telford to express her love at the moment a stranger in Wetherspoons bought her a tequila slammer before nonchalantly leaving, it somehow becomes less enlightened and insightful'.
Although not all is lost, according to Professor Watkins of Sheffield University: 'It's really not that difficult to find fresh quotes to circulate and impress your friends with. We've found that the people of today aren't necessarily impressed by the deeper meaning of the quote itself, but more the format in which it's presented'.
'Take this Joey Essex quote, as an example: 'If you get a waxwork done, that’s how you know you made it'. Of course it's void of anything even remotely profound and is essentially a load of bollocks, but throw an inverted comma on each end, make it bold and italic, and it somehow gains a deeper meaning and purpose:
“If you get a waxwork done, that’s how you know you made it”. Joey Essex, 2012.