Trick-or-treaters have been advised to expect less Haribo, chocolate and money on their rounds this year, after retailers announced 'record sales' of Cup-a-soups, tinned sauerkraut and assorted broken biscuits in the lead-up to the UK's first 'post-double-dip-recession Halloween'.
'There has been a noticeable shift in buying trends this year', confirmed an ASDA spokesperson today. 'Sales of Celebrations, Halloween-themed Haribo and bite-size Mars Bars have shot down almost 90%. On the flip-side, we're shifting trolley loads of value range kidney beans, lentils and Super Noodles. I suspect many children will be opting for the 'trick' option this year'.
Michael Bryant, a redundant forklift operative from Helsby, said: 'I'm only opening that bloody door once this year. The first trick-or-treater to arrive gets the leftovers from my tea, if there are any. I can't be expected to feed other peoples children after an economic downturn'.
Various charities have also raised concerns around the situation the elderly are facing this Halloween, with many pensioners planning to 'remove hearing-aids' to avoid the guilt of leaving ringing doorbells unanswered.
Miriam Grove, a widower from Warrington has admitted that she 'doesn't have much to offer' this year, and will resort to offering every spooky visitor a 'cup of tea' instead of her usual liquorice and Cadbury's Fingers. She said: 'If I do get any back-chat from the children, all I can do is ask them to forward their complaints to British Gas'.
The children of the UK have also been advised to 'lower their expectations' for Christmas this year, as many families are said to be planning a 'Make-it-yourself-Christmas', where youngsters will be tasked with sourcing various materials from around the house and garden, before being told to 'construct their own gifts' to place under the tree.