Food hoarding in the South of England has led to a run on essentials like olive oil and organic asparagus. Home counties housewives recall stories told by their mothers of the 1987 storm where families were left unable to the host even the most basic dinner party.
A team of amphibious Ocado delivery vans are on standby in case of major flooding and road closures. A spokesman said 'The majority of our customers have large 4x4s for doing the school run but of course if it's wet they won't want to venture out. We have emergency packs containing bottles of San Pellegrino water, Olivio spread and an artisan loaf’.
When asked about government contingency plans Prime Minister David Cameron said ‘not to worry it’s half-term so everyone’s away skiing. Lucky really you wouldn’t want to be caught at home in this’