Homeopathy has won a prestigious new award, for inspiring a generation of lazy comedians. The ineffectual ‘therapy’ beat off a strong challenge from other easy comedy targets, including Sting, Donald Trump’s hair, dyslexia, airline food, seamen, Shiites, tourettes, the town of Cockermouth, deep-fried Mars bars, the wrong kind of snow and Sting.
Presenting the prizes at the glittering awards ceremony in London, David Mitchell praised the comedy gift that keeps on giving. “Homeopathy is so nonsensical that you just have to laugh”, said the avuncular funnyman, to an appreciative audience of comedy staples, including Bono, Cliff Richard, John Prescott, the Kardashians and a garrulous group of locally-based Manchester United supporters. “People pay good money for ‘medicine’ whose only active ingredient is wishful thinking. It’s hilarious”.
There were some notable absentees on the night. Stuart Hall pleaded a previous engagement, while Richard Branson blamed “leaves on the line”. The clairvoyants had to cancel, due to “unforseen circumstances” of course, while the Daleks, predictably, failed to negotiate the stairs. Their places were taken by a group of German tourists who bagged the seats with beach towels.
The highlight of the evening came when Prince Charles was presented with the Lifetime Achievement Award by James Blunt, who promised not to sing.