Norfolk man Tony Halt is reported to have had 'a massive strop' and 'been sulky all day' after receiving what he claims to be a 'derisory' day offer from his family.
The financial consultant from King's Lynn says that, allowing for inflation, the net worth of cuddles and breakfast in bed from his two children should have increased by at least 2% since mid-March, but he believes their attempt last Sunday was 'pitiful' and was worth much less in real terms than the 'fantastic effort they made' for Mother's Day.
'The performance-related bonus of a pair of 'No.1 Dad' socks was welcome, but I had the same last year,' he lamented, 'and even that was less than 2008 when I was presented with a 'World's Best Dad' mug in a special ceremony on the landing. None of us dared let my wife lift a finger back in March but I even had to mow the grass and wash both cars unaided this weekend. It's a disgrace.'
Housewife Clare says that measuring against Mother's Day is unfair and that comparisons should be made on a like-for-like basis. She believes her husband's reward package compares 'very favourably' with similar roles in the area, but Mr Halt is unswayed by her arguments. 'Yes, they did bring me breakfast in bed,' he said, 'but they were very slap-dash, spilling some of the tea onto the tray. They hardly put any effort into the toast, bringing it up unbuttered with a tub of Clover but no knife, and the cereal was a joke -- she had Crunchy Nut Clusters for Mother's Day but they only gave me fucking bran flakes!'
Mr Halt says he is considering his position and may ballot for strike action if the situation doesn't improve. 'I'm expecting full TV rights during the rest of the World Cup, no matter how crap England play, my evening meals on time and kids straight to bed without complaint otherwise there will be a formal postal ballot. I genuinely believe that I may vote 'yes' this year 'cos of the footie, even if the missus tries hiding the post, but I may end up just caving in after a few days if she counters with the usual 'no jiggy-jiggy' clause.'