An independent Scotland could wait until 2016 to declare its own nuclear weapon capability in a bid to accede the internationally recognised Axis of Evil.
SNP leader and Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond in an interview indicated that the removal of British ballistic missile submarines and their nuclear warheads would only be agreed to in part by the SNP if independence was granted and that the SNP would make every effort to retain some of the missiles and submarines for its own use.
In between mouthfuls of ‘Pizza Crunch’ (deep-fried pizza), the First Minister said; “Once we’ve got oor ane nukes, we’ll dae whit we like, ken?”.
Acknowledging the growing similarities between Scotland and others in the aforementioned Axis, Salmond's remarks suggest that North Korea could become the template for the fledgling independent nation. A spokesperson for the SNP also accepted that with so many Glaswegians on the dole, the percentage of the population that this would represent in a newly independent Scotland would make the country practically communist overnight.
Westminster has previously said Scotland's admittance to the Axis would be contingent upon there first being UN sanctions in place to make Scotland truly become a rogue nation. Luxury goods would be the first target of sanctions and a Scottish regime insider recently surmised “there is potential for an own-goal on the part of Salmond". There are further concerns that by 2016, if effective sanctions have taken hold of the Scottish economy, Salmond may have to leave the country for scheduled surgery to fit a gastric band and ball-gag.