Police are questioning a Greek man who they say has been “living on benefits since he landed in England around 70 years ago” and is suspected of having abducted the 64-year-old man he claims is his biological son. The younger man is reported to have “gone native”, and become accustomed to his bizarre and dysfunctional family environment.
“As soon as we spotted them together, we smelt a rat”, says a Scotland Yard spokesman. “They're polar opposites. The younger man is the sensitive touchy-feely type who talks to his plants, while the older one can't seem to open his mouth without everyone within earshot going silent with embarrassment. We're now awaiting DNA results, and would like to hear from anyone who had a baby with rather large ears snatched around 1948”.
When cautioned, the suspect is reported to have replied: “Do you have children yourself - or are you, you know...?”