Many die-hard Royalists have raised concerns today after the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge 'broke Royal tradition' by Christening their firstborn Prince George at The Chapel Royal at St James’s Palace, instead of the music room at Buckingham Palace, but the British public have been reassured that the other tradition of getting 'absolutely arseholed' after a family Christening has been 'firmly upheld'.
The Royal bender, which lasted 'well into the evening', finally came to an end when Thames Valley Police fished a number of semi-naked Royals from the banks of the River Thames, just behind Bishop's Park, where a large group of Chinese tourists had gathered.
Speaking from a very dark and quiet room this morning, Prince Charles, who has been released on bail pending a public order offence hearing, said: 'One appreciates that a Christening is a hugely important ceremony that further commits oneself to the Lord, but one also understands the importance of getting absolutely blitzed at a social club afterward. Now do please close the curtains and make me a bacon sandwich'.
The tradition of getting 'annihilated' after a baptism is said to date back 'thousands of years', with some historians suggesting that it could actually pre-date the sacred ceremony itself. 'One would not dream of breaking such traditions. We are British after all', groaned Camilla this morning, who admits that she feels as 'rough as toast'.
'Once we got the ceremony out of the way, we got absolutely obliterated, hit the rhythm rug and made absolute arseholes of ourselves, just like every other family. Now do you have any Anadin? I'm hanging out of my arse here'.