The duke and duchess of Cambridge have announced their chosen Godparents for the christening of Prince George.
Zara Parker-Knolls is a cousin of the Duke and is related to a reclining armchair.
Oliver van Rental was a school chum of the Duke and provides the royals with budget vehicle leasing.
Earl Grosvenor, the son of the Duke of Westminster is likely to inherit most of London. He is seen as a good insurance policy for the young prince should he ever fall on hard times or republicanism break out.
Jardinière Pincleyton-Winkleyton is either a close school friend of the duchess or an invention of Beatrice Potter. (Check this)
Sir Christopher Tomkinson KGB is worth having around and can handle himself in a scrap.
Albert Scraggs knows where the bodies are buried.
The duchess’s sister Pippa has not been chosen as a Godparent in case she upstages the baby’s arse with her face (Is that the right way around – Ed)
<Please feel free to add your own suggested Godparents - I'm sure you can do a better job.>