with huge tips to Weemant, Titus, Smart Alex and other
In an unexpected announcement to unveil the UK’s first nuclear power station in a generation, Energy Secretary Ed Davey has defended granting the winning tender to a joint consortium from North Korea and Iran, by suggesting they will bring together a wonderful fusion of ideas and ideologies.
Addressing a visible gobsmacked press gathering Mr Davey explained that it was either them or the French and well given that choice... Thankfully the safety concerns of the project are being covered by a crack team from Japan who have received glowing reports for their most recent work.
These assurances helped douse the flames fanning around the feet of Mr Davey calling for his decommissioning, following earlier reports claiming he had declared the nation’s energy policy to be “unclear” at best. Political analysts are predicting some limited fallout from this decision despite Mr Davey’s assurances that it was a wonderful deal for Britain and that financially someone, somewhere was going to make a bomb from the deal. The project is expected to create 25,000 jobs, all of which will be outsourced to India.
David Cameron appears to have avoided contamination but his second in command Nick Clegg is thought to be in meltdown having discovered that Eric Pickles had been part of the core negotiating team despite having recently warned by scientists that he had achieved critical mass. This is sure to cause some degree of fission within the coalition and will probably result in an almighty bang sometime in the not too distant future.