Child protection responsibilities of Birmingham City Council should be outsourced to the RSPCA, recommends Ofsted.
Social services in the West Midlands have failed inspections seven times over the last few years and there have been 23 serious case reviews, said Sir Michael Wilshaw, Ofsted’s chief inspector.
Speaking to directors of children’s social services departments Sir Michael said:
“Child protection in Birmingham is a national disgrace. I read the reports of my local inspectors and thought, ‘I wouldn’t treat a dog like that’, and the solution suddenly presented itself.”
The RSPCA have responded positively to the proposal. Chief Inspector Rex Hunter commented
“Our remit is to prevent cruelty to animals; children are technically young animals so I see no reason why we cannot take on this new role. Birmingham City Council is totally incompetent, constantly pussyfooting around this problem, visiting abused children often dozens of times but without taking any action. Compare that with the RSPCA, we rescue, rehabilitate and rehome hundreds of thousands of animals each year. Why can’t Birmingham do that for their children?”
Social worker Sally Smith is delighted at the move.
“I’ve applied for a transfer to the RSPCA and can’t wait to start. I’ll get a uniform and a new van and possibly a large net to catch the frightened little things if they try to run off. I might even get to appear on the telly, and meet some animal celebrities like Michaela Strachan or Rolf, well may be not Rolf, but I’m so excited”
Local mother of six Emma Black though has mixed feelings.
“If my kids could be taken away just like that, at the drop of a hat, that’s against human rights that is, and who’s going to pay for my drinks if the child benefit goes? Okay, so I do sometimes shake the hell out of me babby if he’s screaming to be fed during X Factor, but that’s not my fault it’s the Council’s fault, that Ofsted report said so. And those local councillors, they should lock those fuckers up.”
Convicted paedophile Eddie Strange is also unimpressed.
“Birmingham has for many years been a destination of choice for many of my friends, the RSPCA could change all that. I’m going to have to update my TripAdvisor recommendations now. I hear Greece is nice this time of year.”