At a meeting in London today, social workers agreed that, when yet another one of the children in their care is murdered by their parents, they will contract with the NHS to wheel out the use line of 'Oh dear, how sad, this must never happen again but it will' to the NHS, as they are good at it too.
Speaking for the social workers, Justin Benson from some inner-city place, said: 'Whenever we fail to do our duty, we have to spend hours talking to the media and pretending we're sorry and that we'll launch some enquiry or other. Natutally, all this distracts us from our core service, which is making sure we visit problem families when they are out. Or, if we make a mistake and accidentally call when they're in, happily accepting their bland assurance that all is well, the children are fine, and that we don't need to actually see any of them because they absolutely, definitley, honestly, trust us, aren't covered in sores, lice, bruises, cigarette burns or dead.
'So we've decided that since the NHS are highly experienced in spouting this sort of nonsense, they might as well spout ours as well. And in addition, they have the same accountability policy that we have, i.e. no-one is to blame for anything, and certainly not us.
'Now excuse me - I've got to finish reading The Guardian before I go off long-term sick with stress.'