When parents make the difficult decision to go their separate ways, concern for their children's emotional wellbeing is often at the forefront of their minds; how will they cope with mummy and daddy living in different houses?; will they be able to understand the reasoning behind the split and that it's not their fault?; how will it affect their school work?; and what will be the long term impact on them psychologically?
"F**k that!" said nine year old Billy Ackleton, son of recently separated parents, Jimmy and Donna, "They've been at each others throats for months now and quite frankly I'm looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet around here. Besides, dad said he's gonna get me a new mountain bike, a Playstation 4 and a 50 inch Plasma TV for my new bedroom at his place this Christmas. I know mum is secretly pissed off with him for it but she's said I could have the same at her place and has promised to take me to Disney World too. Bring it on Santa, I say" beamed the jubilant youngster.
Billy's sister, Jodie, echoed her younger sibling's sentiments saying, "Two lots of prezzies as well as double pocket-money! Hello! It’s gonna be the best Christmas ev-er”
However, the savvy fifteen year old was keen to add that although she had some apprehension about the impending workload that she was about to inherit; setting the Sky Plus and removing spiders from the bath for her mum, she was looking forward to an increased yield in terms of babysitting revenue.
Despite their children’s unexpectedly candid reaction to the couple’s split, both parents expressed mixed views about the future, with mum, Donna, 42 saying “It’s going to be tough but with the child benefit, working tax credits, child tax credits, income from my 16 hours a week job, earnings from my sideline ebay business, plus the child maintenance from Jimmy, we should be able to keep the 4 bed detached Victorian family home, run the Audi A5 and still enjoy an exotic holiday or two every year.”
Father Jimmy, 44, however, was a little more reticent about the estrangement, preferring instead to focus on the upside of the situation, “Not seeing the kids everyday will be heart-wrenching” he said, “but I’ll have plenty of free-time in the evenings” when he said he hopes to be able to better his highest break of 8 at snooker but more importantly, is looking forward to honing his skills in his newfound hobby of internet mating.