Following my good friend Jeremy Hunt’s statements today that chronic loneliness is our “national shame”, I felt morally obligated to give my new book a nice plug. It deviates from my normal work in that I use none of my normal hypnosis magic, and instead use a simple ‘listen along’ format which hopefully will cure the whole country’s loneliness. If you are one of the millions who feel TV is their only company, perhaps this CD will change all that.
Old people, bless you, are of course welcome, but I believe loneliness is a universal issue and have therefore included brilliant advise for other demographics and types of loneliness too. We must be sensitive to the fact that not everyone is as capable of making friends as others. Much of the book is taken up by anodyne anecdotes about my daily life, just to keep you company, but there is also my trade-mark audacious advice, too. It was released just last week, and has already been described by several reputable journals as “in stores now”. Here is a free excerpt…
‘Do you, as millions have recently admitted, feel that Television is your only company? If so, Why not try not upgrading to incorporate a surround sound system? The good people at LogiTech assure me their product is wonderful, and will make your TV watching feel as if you are surrounded by friends comforting you.
Do you, as so many must, feel your home is empty, find the loneliness of your life accentuated by all the space your house has? In that case,Why to move to a smaller home? The fine folks at RealEstate.com will be more than happy to find you suitable new digs to hide away your solitude.
[b]Do you, as plenty have but may not admit, feel unattractive to women, hugging your laptop at night as if it were your girlfriend? Why not learn, as Jeremy Hunt so rightly implored us to, from Asian culture, and buy a Thai bride? They are inexpensive and apparently genuinely grateful for the interest.
Do you, like it is only natural to do, that no one really understand and knows you? Well, there are now a whole host of online social networking sites which allow you to simply type out all of your interests , passions, hopes and fears. Why not utilise this technology, and then, if you feel people don’t ‘get you’, you can simply direct them to your ‘page’, and all will be right as rain.’
Do you, as we all sure must at some point, feel your life is empty and meaningless, the inevitable finality of death looming in every corner of your lonely mind? In that case, Why not try opiates? A local source (I live near a clinic) tells me the feeling is like the best hug you ever had. Warning – rumored to be addictive.'
The work goes on and on like this with even more show-stopping advice. Why not check it out at your local book shop? I mean, really, what else are you going to do with your time? And tell all your - oh wait, forget that bit...
By Paul McKenna