A large male was found beached on a west lothian beach by a member of the public early on Friday morning
Greggs workers arrived and made attempts at refloating the male with sausage rolls and pasties.
After several hours of constant bombardment of savoury baked goods, the male was not responding well.
Orla Largely, of weightwatchers said:
"This particular large type of male is quite rare in this part of the UK, so it certainly is an unfortunate situation"
It became clear that the large male was in immense difficulty due to a cholesterol overload, and so it was destroyed after several hours of vain attempts, by a high power liposuction machine.