A whistleblower from the Treasury today revealed that the temporary lift to the US debt ceiling has been shored up by a short-term loan from the British government. To the astonishment of financiers everywhere, the UK put together a rescue package of several billion seemingly from no-where. "We were mostly surprised that anyone in the Treasury could conceive a fiscal strategy this brilliant", said Crispin Hodsworth-Smythe, a prominent-toothed hedge fund manager.
According to the un-named whistleblower, the Royal Mail share offer was deliberately set at a level that was seen as reasonable (i.e. a maximum of £10K per private investor) then hyped like a Cowell-sponsored boy band.
"This ensured that the government could legitimately allocate less than 10% of the value charged from potentially hundreds of thousands of investors, thus banking <counts on fingers> squillions. The subtle part was to accuse the victims of attempting to 'make a killing', like that was somehow immoral. The idea was to dissuade them from making a fuss."
A disgruntled middle-ranking civil servant from Winchester confirmed today that "whoever was selling these shares sucked ten grand from my bank account at the start of the week, and they have refunded zilch so far. I know," she said, making a fuss, "I checked with the Halifux this morning. It would be great if I got £10K worth of shares but I haven't been formally told anything, yet all credible websites confirm everyone only got £749 worth. Bank of Linda has loaned the chancellor over nine grand. Apparently."
The Treasury has formally denied slipping Obama a 'Wonga' loan via UPS special delivery.