Each night small groups escape the danger areas, shuffling along sniper alley (M4) towards temporary asylum in camps around Swindon, or “Hell on Earth” as it is often described.
The refugees face many problems including having their stories of persecution heard as no one in Chippenham can understand their west country accent. Another is finding something to break the boredom. “We had heard of the pilot project, and had high hopes” said one young cub, “but there simply weren't enough planes for us all”.
Those staying behind have cancelled all routine night time patrols and instead are digging deeper bunkers or drinking cider. They expect their attackers, frustrated by a lack of progress and despite worldwide condemnation, to soon deploy chemical weapons. NFU inspectors have loudly criticized the use of gas after many weeks of conflict saying it should have been used from the start.
Setts have made great efforts to improve their border security in order to prevent infiltration by weasel spies who would then rat on them. Up to now no moles have been found.
Previous attempts to eliminate Badgers accused of harbouring Tony Blair have always failed. Particularly insidious, getting rid of TB has proved to be more difficult than anyone imagined hence this attempt at a final solution.
The latest conflict is seen by many outsiders as merely a civil war between the Brocks and the Friesians, but a spokesman for the Badgers said that it was actually much more complicated and not just black and all white.
In order to raise the moral of those affected, Brian May has released an album of Queen hits including “We will brock you”, “Another one bites the dust” and “Who wants to live forever”.