CAIRO - Ali Zeidan, Libya’s prime minister, was kidnapped on Thursday in the capital city of Tripoli in a retaliatory act for his consent to the capture of a suspected al Qaeda leader by the American military. Though the duration of his kidnapping was very brief, Zeidan described his experience as "a journey of non-stop excitement" at a press conference this afternoon.
"I woke up in my hotel room that morning like it was any other day," stated Zeidan with a smile creeping across his face, "Then, like a bolt of mystical lightning from the heavens, these architects of wonder carried me away to a joyride of delights and dreams."
Prime Minister Ali Zeidan, joyful kidnapping victim of imagineers.
According to a spokesperson from the prime minister's office, Zeidan was captured in the early morning and released that afternoon. "I never wanted it to end; I wished it would just go on forever," said Zeidan as a joyful tear appeared in the corner of his left eye.
The kidnapping is a glaring sign of unhappiness in Libya's transitional government, which is aided by the American military. In a public statement, the party responsible for the kidnapping, Operations Room of Libya’s Imagineers, claimed that their gift of childlike bliss to the prime minister was meant to counteract the grim realism of American military forces. "The American force in Libya seems obsessed with being dark and gritty so as to appeal to a wider demographic," the statement read. "We true Libyans seek a simpler existence that involves rainbows and sugary candy, which the prime minister has now witnessed for himself. Blood and death does not make things more interesting by default; it is the experience of the individual that matters most."
Despite the shocking event, the prime minister appeared eager to get back to work. "The Libyan government remains plagued by larger issues that require all of my effort and attention, and I am practical enough to know that such an enchanting existence cannot truly exist in the real world," Zeidan concluded at the press conference, briefly glancing with crestfallen eyes at the stone-faced American colonel standing next to him. "But for a few hours today, it was as if I was riding a unicorn through a magical adventure. I will never forget that feeling as long as I shall live."