Mr Kevin Weston, of Sheffield, has been excitedly showing his organ to anyone who'll listen to him, asking, “Is this the face of Jesus or what?” He claims he first noticed its resemblance to the Son of God when he was towelling himself before the bathroom mirror a few months ago, and took it to be “a sign of some kind”.
He was escorted out of the church by his local vicar when he took it out during Sunday morning service recently. “I mean, that's the one place where you'd expect a sympathetic hearing”, he complained afterwards, “but nowadays the liberal Church of England types just get embarrassed when you bring up Jesus, they're so afraid of offending other religions”.
Since then he has sought an audience with the Archbishop of Canterbury and the BBC's Religious Affairs Correspondent, but to no avail. “What it boils down to is discrimination against Christianity”, he told the Daily Mail, after he narrowly avoided being put on the Sex Offenders' Register. His defence counsel told the judge he has now switched to a different faith and is unlikely to offend again, as his newly-circumcised penis “no longer resembles any major religious figure”.