It has been announced that Christmas Day 2013 is now to be celebrated on 28th December due to a number of teenage girls having purchased tickets for a One Direction concert that is being held in Wembley Stadium on the original date of the 25th.
"The change has come after intense pressure from parents" admitted the Archbishop of Canterbury. "I've received dozens of angry e-mails from mothers who were furious that we were expecting their children to stay home and celebrate the holy day, enjoying togetherness with their families and being depressed by the EastEnders Christmas episode when they could be throwing themselves at Harry Styles instead. Another concern was in regards to transport... no buses would be running and the taxis will be on double fares. It was unreasonable of us to expect people to be out of pocket just because Jesus was born on the 25th, apparently.
The date of the 28th was chosen as it has been reasoned that the attendees will need a chance to recover from the 'thrill' of seeing the band live. A spokesman from One Direction claimed that the choosing of the 25th December was a 'complete coincidence', stating "We honestly had no idea that some festival was happening on the 25th December If it was that important, you'd expect to see stuff in the shops. It's such a random date."
He then went on to announce that the three-hour television premiere of the event would be airing at 11:50pm on New Years Eve, and that further concerts were being planned for Easter Sunday, Summer Solstice and this reporter's birthday.