In her column in the Daily Mail today, Janet Street-Porter tells of the living hell that her friend Mrs Higgs went through when her childish husband became obsessed with particles.
"Particle physics? Oh per-lease! Don't expect me to be impressed," began Street-Porter's column, "no woman would be interested in such a nerdy pastime." Not so long ago Britain produced great artists like Normski, Elton John and the Pet Shop Boys, wrote Street-Porter, but now this once great nation is reduced to celebrating the efforts of middle age, middle class men who mess around with matter.
Street-Porter contrasted the adulation enjoyed by self styled 'Professor' Higgs, with his unfashionable clothes and his so not on-trend clothes, and the recognition afforded to Street-Porter, who has made lifestyle programmes, been a member of the Groucho Club, appeared on BBC Question Time and survived life in a sImulated jungle in a reality TV show. "It just shows there is no meritocracy in this country. I make ten times as much money as this boring scientist, but do I get a Nobel Prize? Do I bosun!" said the furious columnist.
Street-Porter wasn't angry for herself, however, but for poor Mrs Higgs, who would have had to pick up all the particles after her husband when all his friends had gone home. "I'm pretty sure I met her once in the Groucho Club ad we've been firm friends ever since," said Street-Porter. "Her marriage reminded me of mine, to my third or fourth husband Normski, who for a while threatened to overshadow me. Although obviously, Mrs Higgs isn't under the same sort of pressure as me."