A simple modification could turn a domestic washing machine into a lethal centrifuge capable of enriching uranium for nuclear bombs, claims a washing machine engineer. We’ll just call him D.W., as he doesn’t want to give his name or address for fear of death threats.
D.W. of Doug Wilson Domestic Appliances (Biston Village) Ltd says the secret is in the gearing. With the inexpensive addition of a 100:1 gear ratio, the standard spin speed can be beefed up to the 100,000 rpm needed to separate radioactive heavy water into U235 and U238 constituents. The heavier U238 water simply flows out of the downpipe in the normal way, leaving the lighter 'weapons-grade' U235 in the shirts.
A series of modified washing machines, such as might be found in the laundry room of an up-town Tehran hotel, could get the job done in secret, right under the noses of any unsuspecting weapons inspectors staying there.
We asked an independent expert from Currys whether these normally benign household appliances could really pose a threat to world peace.
“Compared to the astronomical increases we've seen in computer processor power, spin speeds simply haven’t kept pace. But who knows whether a technological breakthrough isn't just round the corner, you only have to think of liquid washing tablets. My advice to anyone thinking of purchasing a washer for the purpose of enriching uranium would be to keep quiet about it, as this would invalidate the 3-year extended warranty.”
Now D.W. is calling for an urgent ban on the export of spin dryer technology to Iran, “before something terrible happens, like a Hotpoint Aquarius being used to nuke Israel.”
But so far his call has been ignored by all the major appliance manufacturers, and Beko.