James Arnold, the London man who miraculously missed, last week, a North-bound train he was scheduled to be on, which was tragically fated to crash, killing all passengers, says he still refuses to state conclusively whether his life being spared was an act of celestial philanthropy.
"It's too soon to say," he reflects coolly, "I mean, sure, not dying has been quite useful so far, but what if it was really just to make sure I didn't miss some greater future misery? I mean, I nearly left the iron on this morning, and the wife's just started with 'Strictly...' again, which is always rather hit-and-miss."
He says he's not ruling the divine out altogether, "it's just that I could just as easily believe that my milk man orchestrated it all so he didn't lose a client, particularly given how few and far between they are now. Or maybe the government's behind it, so that I wouldn't get out of paying my taxes. I am also quite lazy and have missed alot of important meetings in my time, so I don't know where this 'divinity' figures into that?'
He says bluntly that the ordeal has really done little to change his perspective on life, expect that he "reads slightly more" now.
The story of course has taken on a life of it's own in press, with every morning seeing the tabloids spew out new revelations of what Mr. Arnold did that day instead of being in the train crash (such as the Mail's 'Arnold had late lunch' blockbuster scoop), and Hollywood coming knocking, with a reported 6 digit offer for the rights to Arnold's not-being-in-train-crash story. Arnold has then unsurprisingly also had myriad offers from various religious groups asking him to become a spokesman for them after clearly being sent a message directly from their god with this miraculous near-miss.
He says (no fool) he very much respects all religions equally, but wonders why God felt the need to kill so many people in order to send a message to him personally.
"It just strikes me that he has poor communication skills if this is how he means to get his point across. Seems like he doesn't judge social situations at all well, very much the strong silent type. Perhaps" he reflects after a moments thought, "God is somewhere on the autism spectrum? I mean, it certainly would explain alot of his eccentric demands."