Pro-cancer lobbyists have finally hit back at anti-cancer campaigners. At their rally last night the lobbyists argued that the anti-cancer campaign was one-sided and that people needed to see both sides of the debate.
“It’s all ‘I hate cancer this’ and ‘Beat cancer that’” complained one pro-cancer marcher. “I mean, when do you ever see the media put the other point of view? It’s downright biased”.
“It’s all getting a bit heavy now,” said one pro-cancer lobbyist “What with the Daily Mail stories on elective mastectomies, the constant stream of facebook posts asking me to ‘like’ kids with cancer, and the army of sponsored runners. I feel isolated and ostracised”.
In its manifesto, the group explains that it feels the arguments so far have been “a bit one-sided” and that the case for cancer hasn’t been fairly represented. “It’s time we spoke out. It’s all going to change now, what with our new twitter feed, our ‘click if you like cancer’ facebook page and our witty pro-cancer ads”.
“I think I know which of my facebook friends will share it and which won’t”, said a prominent pro-cancer spokesperson in that passive-aggressive manner which is bound to be a hit with facebook fans.
Anti-cancer charities hit out at the new developments. “We’ve got to take a stand against cancer”, said Research Cancer UK. “Wearing ribbons, taking a stand and constantly reminding people on facebook that cancer exists are real weapons in our armoury. Pro-cancer lobbyists will never stand a chance”.
“It’s not as if we really think cancer is a good thing,” a lobbyist riposted. “It’s just having it shoved down our throats when there’s no opposition is making us feel pretty sick. It’s just not cricket”.