A paranoid husband of nine years from Kent has left his wife recently after snooping through her private computer, journals, and mobile, and finding that she is a deeply boring person.
He says he'd always been the 'jealous' type, but that the urge finally overtook him one day recently and he just couldn't resist. What did he find? An internet browser history full of gossip websites and amazon browsing, a phone full of messages from O2 and notes-to-self to 'hang out the washing', and a perfectly organised collection of her receipts from the last five years.
'When she was 'away on business',' he laments, 'it turns out she watched fourteen episodes of 'come dine with me.' She keeps a list of everything, writing either 'good' or 'bad' by each. I mean, she reads reviews of different oven-mittens online before buying them! I can't describe the feeling I had finding all this stuff not hidden - it was just like sinking. To be honest, by the end I started hoping I'd find some saucy text messages from a colleague just so that I could still look her in the eyes; some experimental Japanese S&M website she'd been trolling just so that I didn't end up judging her so badly, you know? This entire lack of betrayal or any kind of secret life just broke my heart, and I don't think I'll ever be able to feel the same again.'