Hartlepool docker Mike McQuinn had a rather happy grin on his face earlier today after launching what he thought was a 'Cleveland Steamer' during his tea break but was later concerned to discover that he was suffering from acute constipation and following a mix-up with the film crew filming an Andrex advert on the River Tees, might have accidentally sent a puppy Labrador to a watery grave.
'I launched it in my own tea break, which to be honest is a first as I usually like the boss to pay for the disposal of foreign goods which have grown in work time' added McQunnn, 'But when I was cleansing realised that the ship hadn't left the harbour. Then I saw the film crew trying to locate the gorgeous puppy wrapped in three-ply loo roll I remembered that I might had made a terrible mistake.'
'I just grabbed it and flushed it down the loo, as I thought it become out-of-control, which in retrospect it had. Now the RSPCA is after me, and I might need to sell-up to meet the court costs. I even might up living in a log cabin.'