michael wallace of derbyshire, who has never owned a televion set, has stated that he is "worried and totally confused" by the fact that, for nearly a week now, he has not received one single letter from the tv licencing authority theatening him with prosecution, arrest, conviction or summary imprisonment for the crime of not having a television set.
"this sinister absence of communication has got me really on edge" he explained. "is this the lull before the storm? are the authorities simply biding their time and massing their forces in preparation for an armed dawn raid on my home? or are they planning some devious change of strategy?"
"are they perhaps just messing with my head or trying to soften me up psycholgically? the tension is unbearable and is stretching my nerves to breaking point. i'm not sure if i can take much more; i'm on the point of cracking up altogether. i've even contmplated doing something silly and unforgiveable, like buying a televison set."