The strange fashion for decorative little spots of light on the front of new vehicles has led to a warning about a shortage of Christmas lights this winter. Seasonal high street retailers are claiming that car makers are buying up fairy lights for their production lines in such quantities that there will be very few festive lighting products available for the public. “We are all facing a gloomy Christmas,”said Lee Collingwood, area manager of a chain of temporary cheap Christmas tat shops set to open shortly across the South East.
It is believed that Audi were the first manufacturer to put fairy lights into headlamp clusters, reportedly in a feeble attempt to make their pug-ugly vehicles look as pretty as Alfa Romeos. But now many other manufacturers have seen the lights and adopted similar approaches in their latest chavved-up models. Some are even using strings of tiny coloured lights in indicators and tail lights too. The worldwide demand for fairy lights has soared as a result, and workload in the light manufacturing industry has never been heavier.
The shortage of domestic fairy lights is worrying enough for those whose seasonal decorations extend to just one string of badly-arranged lights on a mis-shapen Christmas tree in the living room. But for those who feel the need to demonstrate how dim they are by covering the front of their house with bright displays of flashing Santas, it could spell ‘CRISIS’. Especially if they can’t get enough bulbs to spell out ‘CHRISTMAS’.
One such exponent of the art of being the biggest tosser in the street during the festive season is Mr Robin Gordon of Basingstoke. For the past five years, his spectacular Christmas lighting displays have won him a prize for services to the local electricity supply company, but he is struggling to maintain his standards this year. “I’m incandescent that all the bulbs are being bought for cars,” raged Mr Gordon. “I’ve been trying everywhere for the past month but I simply can’t get hold of any suitable lamps for my new Rudolph the LED-nosed reindeer.”
However, the motor industry claims that this latest trend is not all bad news for householders. A spokesman for the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders explained, “If your Christmas tree lights fail this winter, we can offer an alternative to inviting that obnoxious smart-arse nephew round to find the offending bulb. With thousands of garage technicians now trained in the fault diagnosis and repair of strings of fairy lights, we have many hands who can make lights work.”