The leaders of the Conservative, Labour and the Other One parties were locked in a battle to see who could appeal to voters the most by thinking of the most horrendous way to treat the unemployed.
'Everyone loathes them,' said David Cameron, 'so we will make thme work for their benefit.'
Scarcely had he spoken when Ed Miliband interrupted with Labour's new policy. 'Friends,' he said, 'we will make the unemployed lick the pavements clean. And friends, those pavements will have to be clean!'
'Trust Labour and the Tories to go soft on the unemployed!' said Nick Thingy. 'The unemployed with be made to clean motorways with a toothbrush - in the middle of the rush hour!'
'With great respect,' said Mr Cameron, 'that will hardly solve the very real problem that we face. It is our declared policy that anyone who has been unemployed for a minute or so will be hacked to pieces, and the public invited to dance on their graves.'
'Friends,' replied Mr Miliband, 'you can trust the Tories to be soft on benefit scroungers! Because friends, we in the Labour party know what the public really want. Friends, they want the unemployed put through a giant mincing machine and put into pies which are then eaten by pigs!'
'This is sheer nonsense!' stormed Mr Clegg. 'The unemployed need lots of money, comfortable chairs and a permanent supply of free coffee.
'Think about it - which one of us will be out of a job after the next election?'