The University of Life has been given an official warning that it must show a more diverse student intake or face penalties, after research showed that 90 per cent of its alumni are loudmouthed white males in saloon bars who failed their A levels, and boast about how far they got without “a poncy degree”.
Those who were excluded are no longer taking it lying down. Old Etonian Edward Trevesley, 49, feels intensely conscious of his inferiority. “All I had was Balliol and the Guards”, he says bitterly, “you call that a level playing field?”
“The upper classes are grossly under-represented in the ranks of its graduates”, says OFSTED spokesman Daniel Brewer. “There was the famous Earl of Towheath a few years ago, but he turned out to be an impostor – he was really a plasterer from Basingstoke, and was jailed for five years, thus earning himself a pile more credits from UoL”.