While our glorious Deputy Prime Minister lectured the General Assembly in New York on their general failings, people from around the world asked as one: 'Who is this bozo?'. Undaunted by their collective confusion, Mr. Clegg was quick to clarify that he was neither Iran's new President, the pizza delivery guy nor a figment of their imagination.
While his credentials seemed to check out, some UN members were less than convinced by his claims to have 'single-handedly' delivered 'free tuition fees', the 'House of Lords reform' and 'bank shares' to the people of Britain. In fact ten minutes of Googling 'Clegg who?' provided links to the phrase 'clueless jackanapes', a .gif of David Lloyd George 'face-palming' and a .jpeg of a 'bell end'.
Warning that it could become an 'anachronism', Mr. Clegg said the Security Council had 'much to learn' from Yeovil's local Lib Dem 'bring and buy sale'. He assured the puzzled diplomats that the UN needed to be more proportionately 'representative' and he was just the man to help them achieve this. Or as one Diplomat asked: 'Is this ginger squirt for real? How did he get past security? Is it take your child to work day?'