As Halloween fast approaches, several zombies have aired their frustration at being portrayed as 'brain-dead, blood-sucking monsters', and have called for retailers to remove fake blood, masks and rotting eyeballs.
'Everyone thinks that if I bite them, they'll turn into some blood-thirsty, knuckle-dragging psychopath. To be honest, I haven't got a reason to bite anyone in the first place', explained one zombie, Kevin Bridge. 'Perhaps I do look a little ghoulish, but I am dead, for God's sake'.
A Tesco spokesperson said: 'We regret any offence we may have caused with our range of Halloween costumes, which included several zombie-themed items, like torn and bloodied shirts, rotting teeth and stick-on axe wounds. To demonstrate our apology, we have donated lots of shiny new Hudl Tablets for those affected to enjoy'.
'Well if I wasn't brain-dead before, I f*****g will be now', added Kevin.