Prince of Darkness, Satan, has warned that the new Labour policy of freezing energy prices could cause fuel shortages that would turn the abode of eternal suffering into a skiing resort. It has emerged that Satan is on the board of several energy companies but denies that that introduces any conflict of interest.
Mr Satan dismissed suggestions that he was scaremongering. "In the usual course of events, I would support the work of my close, personal friend Ed Milliband and during his weekly consultations I have done my best to dissuade him of this policy. But if the energy companies have to introduce power-cuts, then the very thing that Hell is known for will go forever. Believe me, Hell could freeze over and Hell will freeze over before I change my mind. Er, can I start again..."