David Cameron was described as 'delighted' after receiving first place in a rough wife-off with Nicolas Sarkozy, after Samantha Cameron was deemed by a panel of judges to be 'substantially less attractive' than Carla Bruni. The judges were reported to be particularly impressed by her 'slightly miserable face' and 'somewhat bossy voice'.
Samanatha Cameron has recently fallen behind in the world leader's 'rough wife' ranking tables, recently losing narrowly to the 'statuesque, but thoroughly scary' Michelle Obama.
A spokesman for the Camerons said the couple were 'delighted' at finally being able to restore adherence to the tradition of British leaders having thoroughly unattractive partners.
In Prime-Minister's questions, Mr. Cameron said that 'a sustained programme of investment over the course of this government will see Mrs. Cameron fitted with love handles, wrinkles and eye bags', and promised that a second ConDem term would see 'substantial increases in grey hair'.