There were dramatic scenes at the allotments in Ryde yesterday, after a Tesco bag was spotted floating dangerously close to pensioners as they tended their root vegetables in the afternoon sun.
Retired science teacher, Bertie Childs, was the first to sight the airborne object, "I was just sitting back, holding me spuds," he said, "when I saw this bird-like thing hovering about 20 yards above the sheds. At first, I thought it was one of those predatory seagull beasts, so I shouted to the men to grab their turnips and take cover" he explained.
However, it was only when Mr Childs removed his glasses that he realised it was nothing of the sort. "The blue and red markings were a dead giveaway" he said, then as the breeze brought it to within almost an arms distance, he said he could clearly make out the word Tesco.
Fellow pensioner and vegetable grower, Cecil Cartwright, confirmed Mr Childs' account, saying, "Yes, it was definitely a Tesco bag" and went on to say that the biodegradable entity floated aimlessly above his cabbages for at least 15 seconds before a sudden south-westerly gust blew it in the direction of Ventnor.
Although this is believed to be the first sighting of a Tesco carrier bag in Isle of Wight airspace, it's not the first aeronautical incident to make the headlines. In 1983, now famous local butcher-come-stuntman, Colin Vowles, attempted to emulate his hero Superman, by jumping from Black Gang Chine's peak dressed in a blue leotard and red wellies, only to fracture his groin after landing awkwardly on an unsuspecting gnome that he said had been 'strategically' placed by one of the five strong crowd.
Fortunately, neither men were harmed in yesterday's bag incident. However, Mr Childs claims that as a result of his sudden movement, his King Edwards are slightly swollen.
Meanwhile, in other news, a cyclist from Ventnor was rushed to hospital yesterday after he mysteriously rode his bike into a wall.
