An Apple store customer service representative is in a critical condition in hospital tonight following a serious assault at the Westfield Stratford City branch.
Ian OSwald had been assisting a loyal Apple devotee at the time and was about to seal a deal on a brand new iPhone 5S when the incident occured.
According to several eyewitnesses, a man approached Mr OSwald and drew an Android smartphone from his pocket, pointing it in Mr OSwald's direction while mumbling strange sounds.
One witness, who asked not to be named explained:
"As soon as he started mumbling, all the Apple dudes were writhing in pain; some just fell to the floor screaming in agony. It was upsetting to say the least - after all, these guys are dedicated to the Apple way, but it was the Oswald guy who took the full force"
According to witness statements, the as yet unnamed attacker proceeded to carry out a 'horrendous act' upon Mr OSwald, some of which is too graphic to detail here. However, it appears that OSwald was stunned by an as yet unidentified 'force field', presumably emitted from the Android device, before being shown a bright, clear and very large screen which caused Mr OSwald untold injuries.
"He may be blind for life" said paramedic Jay Rejnic. "Our thoughts are with him".
The attacker has been identified as a member of the JobsWorth Faction, a notorious group of individuals who seek to "s**t on the Apple Way". This is thought to be the most violent act carried out by the group so far and Police are concerned it could trigger further attacks.
DS Marsh of the MET had this to say:
"Apple users need to be on high alert. These lunatics are a menace and will stop at nothing to burst the Apple bubble...I mean, erm, disrupt the Apple phenomenon...bubble suggests it may pop at any minute and, erm, with Apple that will never happen...will it?"
Apple employee Jason Rackham contributed the following:
"Android smartphones are effectively poison to us - the new Galaxy S4 is so powerful and big that we cannot cope in its presence - it's deadly. It is not acceptable that they are still selling in such numbers and within the law. Ian could have died today - its disgraceful"