Conservationist groups have expressed concern over the apparent drop in the Lawyer population, calling for greater protection rules to be introduced.
Dr Marvin Petroskis of the 'Satan is a Lawyer' society has however called for a better monitoring process to be introduced, claiming that Lawyers are not actually decreasing in numbers but are simply moving out from under rocks and relocating to Hades, West Sussex.
"There was a time when Lawyers, Solicitors, and even legal assistants would cruise pubs, clubs, parties and other social gatherings openly telling anyone within ear shot exactly what they did for a living. In a loud irritating voice! Lord knows, if ever you were unfortunate enough to be sat next to one at a dinner party you would know about it"
"These days however, there has been an increased awareness in the general public that lawyers could crawl under the belly of a banker, and so they have withdrawn themselves somewhat from the public eye for fear of reprisal from vigilante groups. I think in particular it is the presence of their parents in these vigilantes that has led to the lower profile" continued Dr Petroskis.
The advent of online and phone based services such as 'Injury Lawyers For You' has presented these blood sucking creatures with an opportunity to conduct their business from within the confines of their furnace like purgatory, or 'working from home' as it's known.
"For God's sake" stressed Dr Petroskis, "DON'T start spreading the opinion that they are decreasing in numbers, or else they will use that as justification for increasing their hourly rates""